you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Less talking, more tequila
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
