The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
