You just made me feel so damn special
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
