Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
