you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
