So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
