I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
