He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
