Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
