everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize