If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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