conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
