you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
