from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
