haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
