"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
