i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
