google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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