Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize