you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
