Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
