Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Porn is love you can see.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
