you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
