closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
