i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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