Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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