she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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