Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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