real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
