am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
