How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
