i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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