They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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