The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
