Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
