Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
