sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
