He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
