We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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