At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize