Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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