I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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