oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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