sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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