it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize