HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
