cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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