Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
is it fun? or sober?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
