Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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