Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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