My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
