i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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