I just made out with a guy for $7.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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