I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
two words...techno handjob
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
