hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
