Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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