filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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