I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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