I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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