I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Actions speak louder than pants.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize