Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Alive.
So much puke
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Randomize
