just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
