Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
