I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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