Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
