Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
