PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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