Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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