Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
