i don't want you to think of me as your TA
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
