Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
