literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
